Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Observation of Animal Behavior in the Prediction of UnNatural Disasters (Satire)

" ... But, what about the prediction of unnatural disasters? Is there a way to predict the occurrence of these events?

Well, there might be.

I am advancing a new hypothesis relating to the observation of animals for the prediction of unnatural disasters, particularly terrorist attacks. But, these predictions will be based on the observation of two-legged animals, namely humans.

The fact that some humans have shown strange behavior before the occurrence of a terrorist attack is well known and has been extensively documented. For example, it was widely reported that, eight hours before the September 11 events, San Francisco mayor Willie Brown received a strange call, from whom he described as his airport security, (later it was known that it was from Condi Rice, who apparently was moonlighting as a baggage handler at SFO) advising him to be cautious about air traveling.

In the same fashion, it became known that, just four days before the 9/11 events, Florida governor Jeb Bush signed an executive order authorizing the use of the Florida National Guard in the event of "acts of terrorism."

But Willie Brown and Jeb Bush were not the only ones. It was reported that Attorney General John Ashcroft stopped flying commercial airliners in the weeks before September 11. Even more revealing is the fact that, though the Pentagon is perhaps the building housing more generals per square feet, no general was reported hurt after the 9/11 attack to the Pentagon. Some people have speculated that the generals got their foreknowledge from an ultra secret Pentagon experiment in extra sensory perception and remote viewing.

Actually, far from being isolated incidents, these cases of estrange human behavior prior to an unnatural disaster abound. On October 2005, a terrorist attack on New York's subway was thwarted when some highly placed officials in the Department of Homeland Security sent e-mails to their relatives and close friends to stay out of the subway from October 7 through 10th. Some of the recipients of the e-mails in turn send e-mails to their friends, thus starting an informational chain reaction. Eventually, the information reached the Mayor's office, who apparently had been left out of the loop. He immediately ordered to put thousands of extra police officers on patrol in the subways. Once they discovered that the cat was out of the bag, the officials at the Department of Homeland Security downplayed the threat, and called it a hoax.

On the day of the London bombings, Israeli Finance Minister Benjamin Netannyahu, who was in Scotland attending a G8 meeting and was on his way to a London hotel to speak in a conference, was instructed by British authorities to stay put and not going anywhere. A few minutes later an explosion destroyed the Liverpool Street subway station, close to the hotel, killing many Londoners.

Also, it is interesting to note that the day the Alfred B. Murrah building was destroyed in Oklahoma City, no ATF of FBI field agents, normally working in the building offices, were hurt, because they had called in sick that day. In the same fashion, despite the fact that the largest CIA office in Manhattan was located in one of the World Trade Center buildings, no CIA field agent was reported killed on September 11. Also, even though the WTC was located very close to Wall Street, no senior banker was hurt in the WTC disaster. Moreover, in the cases of the Murrah building, the WTC attack, and the London bombings, there had been simulation exercises previous to the "terrorist" attacks.

Moreover, there are some types of two-legged animals who, year after year, have been predicting unnatural phenomena with an extraordinary accuracy. I am talking about members of the Council on Foreign Relations.

Just a couple of years after the end of WWII, CFR member George Kennan predicted the beginning of a Cold War with the Soviet Union and, Bingo!, a few moths later the Cold War had begun.

[ ... ]

Consequently, I am proposing the creation of a special hotline or Web site where people could call or e-mail to report any strange behavior by senior members of our government, Congress, Supreme Court judges, CIA, FBI, FEMA, Office of Homeland Security senior officials, Pentagon generals and senior CFR members.

The information would be checked to make sure the observations were not caused by other circumstances commonly known to affect the behavior of these particular type of two-legged animals, such as lying, stealing, disinforming or prevaricating. And to avoid issuing false warnings, the data would be used in conjunction with other monitoring activities such as observations of the World Economic Forum or Bilderberger Group meetings, bipartisan (in the Conspirators' lingo, "bipartisan" actually means "CFR-controlled") Congress commission hearings, Bohemian Grove gatherings, Skull & Bones reunions, United Nations sessions, and other places where this type of two-legged animals usually gather together to secretly conspire about how to change the world to screw the rest of us for their own benefit.

A computer program would then analyze the incoming messages to determine where they have originated. A sudden surge of calls or e-mails from a particular area disclosing that the two-legged animals under observation had stampeded to secure undisclosed underground locations, like Mount Weather in Virginia, Raven Rock in Maryland, or the Rockefellers' underground bunkers inside Iron Mountain in upstate New York, might indicate that an unnatural disaster is imminent. Danger signals would be posted in the Web site, and interested citizens would be notified via phone and e-mail.

Among the danger signals to watch I suggest:

- Unannounced, unusual fire or antiterrorist drills,

- Unusual absence or sudden disappearance of senior, key executives or government officials,

-- Rumors that some businessmen have recently raised the insurance of their tall buildings, and that the new contracts protection from loses from terrorist attacks,

- Children of senior FEMA, FBI, Office of Homeland Security officials suddenly stopping taking subways or other means of public transportation, or avoiding driving through tunnels or over bridges,

- Sudden relaxation and reduction of security personnel on airports, tunnels, bridges, ports, etc.

- Security personnel suddenly disappearing or being substituted by unknown personnel.

- Possibility of new terrorist attacks discussed in the mainstream media.

- Increase in number of Foreign Affairs articles warning about future terrorist actions.

Such a project would surely capture the imagination of millions of people, encourage large-scale public participation and research -- and would be fun. We should not allow that dogmatism and narrow-mindedness hold this research back. ... "

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