From: My Mama the Communist by Rebecca Schoenkopf
And so this week is May Day. We can have – or heave! – a cocktail for the working man. We can put on our marching shoes, like we did two years ago, millions and millions of immigrants and those who love them in the streets. We can do lots and loads of things. But me, I'm missing mi mamacita communista. Oh, she didn't die or anything. She just retired and moved back to Oklahoma, where I'm sure as hell not going anytime soon for a visit.
These are the things my mother taught me:
*Contra Barbara Ehrenreich, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a lady to clean your house. You just have to pay her three times the going rate, and you may not use the sort of slave agency that can afford to advertise in the Yellow Pages. You must find a lady via reference or supermarket bulletin board.
*The dog can drink out of the pool.
*It's best if the babies are naked.
*Protesting is fun! Marching is better!
*It is our patriotic duty to cuss loud and creatively. Lenny Bruce wants us to stick it to the squares. For America. And the children.
*Good names for America's pets and children include Rosie, Emma, Fidel and Diego, and any of her children who don't comply will have their kids' and pets' names changed unilaterally. Rodents should be named after baked goods.
*The best name for getting arrested under while demonstrating is Emma Goldman.
*Good places to get arrested are the Nevada Test Site, Diablo Canyon, and the mean streets of Thousand Oaks circa Gulf War I...
And so this week is May Day. We can have – or heave! – a cocktail for the working man. We can put on our marching shoes, like we did two years ago, millions and millions of immigrants and those who love them in the streets. We can do lots and loads of things. But me, I'm missing mi mamacita communista. Oh, she didn't die or anything. She just retired and moved back to Oklahoma, where I'm sure as hell not going anytime soon for a visit.
These are the things my mother taught me:
*Contra Barbara Ehrenreich, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a lady to clean your house. You just have to pay her three times the going rate, and you may not use the sort of slave agency that can afford to advertise in the Yellow Pages. You must find a lady via reference or supermarket bulletin board.
*The dog can drink out of the pool.
*It's best if the babies are naked.
*Protesting is fun! Marching is better!
*It is our patriotic duty to cuss loud and creatively. Lenny Bruce wants us to stick it to the squares. For America. And the children.
*Good names for America's pets and children include Rosie, Emma, Fidel and Diego, and any of her children who don't comply will have their kids' and pets' names changed unilaterally. Rodents should be named after baked goods.
*The best name for getting arrested under while demonstrating is Emma Goldman.
*Good places to get arrested are the Nevada Test Site, Diablo Canyon, and the mean streets of Thousand Oaks circa Gulf War I...
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